A slice of life on 10 acres in the woods. Thoughts on raising 4 sons, guiding 4 grandsons, keeping up a 35 year marriage, maintaining friendships, finding memories, and trying to follow God on the journey.

Friday, October 30, 2009

He came to me with a sheepish smile. Only three weeks earlier his father had been killed in a car accident. I don't know if he had been a good Dad but I know that Austin had lived with him and his older step-sister and step-brother and also a little brother. Now he was back with mom, rumored to have a drinking problem.

I had met both Mom and Dad several times when Austin was in elementary school and the family was still all together. I had never seen his Dad smile although he did not seem harsh but like a man with heavy responsibilities. Mom was likable enough, came in with a new hair color and style every time I saw her. Sometimes she came in bouncy and well-groomed and other times... not so much.

All of this flashed through my mind as Austin shuffled into the library and looked at me across the circulation desk. Our eyes were level. When had he grown so tall? Though he smiled, there was pain behind his eyes. He hemmed and hawed a bit, "Ummm. Uh."

"What's up, Austin?"
"Well, uh, my library book was in my Dad's car when he had the wreck."
Crack! Was that my heart breaking or his?

We talked another minute as I looked him up in the computer. He was trying not to cry. I was trying not to cry. And then I told him "Sometimes I just have to let it go." and I deleted the missing book out of the system. I wish I could have wiped away his hurt as easily. I said a silent prayer for 11 year old Austin as he smiled his sad smile and left.

I hope you'll do the same.