The thundershower rolled in just as my extended family were all arriving for our Father's Day picnic. Thirty minutes earlier the sun had been shining but we could see the clouds rolling in from the west so I had gone ahead and set up everything indoors. The guests ran into the house laughing with rain-splattered backs and soggy shoes. By the time we'd finished eating, the rain had passed and off the kids went to explore. Sometimes I forget how fascinated kids are with frogs and tadpoles and flowers. They followed me around like the Pied Piper intrigued by the herb garden and wanting to taste them all...dill, cilantro, parsley, thyme, basil, chives.... They searched the vines for ripe peas in the garden and held out their little hands for more, more. They plucked the ripe mulberries as high as they could reach then persuaded their 14 year old cousin to pick for them. Life is sweet when you are two or three or four.

Their feet were muddy, their fingers purple and when their uncle sliced the watermelon they ate with abandon not caring at all that the sweet juices dripped off their chins and soaked the fronts of their shirts. Life is full of joy when you are one or two or three or four.

And when I see them full of sweet joy at the wonders of life it makes me joyful, too. It makes me remember to be grateful for the gift of each new day. So after they had all gone home I wandered over to the mulberry tree and I pulled off berry after berry and plunked them into my mouth, one by one savoring each one. I'd forgotten how sweet life can be... when we pay attention to the joy and forget about the messiness.

CJ called me on May 23rd and his first words were "We have a baby". He had begun every phone conversation in the previous month with the words "No baby yet". It was very sweet to hear the new words. I mentioned that he sounded out of breath and he informed me that he was lying down...the nurse had insisted on it because he was hyperventilating. I had to laugh out loud. He told me he had taken almost 100 photos already in the hour since Patrick's birth. He was so proud, so pleased, so happy.

It's still a little hard to think of him as a dad. Not that I don't think him capable of being a father and a good one... it's just that I don't always think of him as an adult, much less a man responsible for a family!

He graduated from high school in 2000 went off to college, got married, moved to Arizona. He rarely came home from college and we only see him once or twice a year now. So we pretty much missed those maturing years into real adulthood.

He has always been self-assured and independent. When he was a young teen I had no problems leaving him in charge of his 3 younger brothers because the kid had a head on his shoulders, cool in emergencies and confident in his decisions.

Interestingly, as fatherhood fast-approached, we received almost daily phone calls asking questions about his childhood, or babies, or nursing or just wanting to know our thoughts on something. He even told me that he'd been thinking a lot about the kind of father that he wants to be, what parts of his own dad he wants to find in himself and what parts he wants to leave behind. He was thinking about the values he wants to instill in his child and what kind of father and husband he wants to be.

I was blown away. He has always marched to his own drum, never taken anyone's advice about anything... one of those kids that had to learn the hard way. He's always been sharp but I've never know him to be philosophical!

I am impressed and so proud of him and what he has become - and is becoming ... A good man, a confident father, a compassionate husband, and a caring son.

Wow.

CJ looked up just in time to see the cat take a swipe at their 2 day old baby! He flew to Petey's rescue, scooping up the cat and throwing her across the room. He was ready to boot the cat out the door never to be seen again but Ana remained calm. Petey had only some tiny little marks on his face. Obviously, the cat just "tapped" him, teaching him a lesson about who is boss... she is bigger and older afterall.

I recall that my dog, Fido, never got used to baby CJ. She continued to growl whenever he was in the vicinity so when he started crawling at 5 months, the dog found a new home at my sister's. (Thank you, Aunt Dandy!)

What will become of CJ and Ana's feline friends? They are keeping the cats, Mini and Maxi, in a separate room from Petey now, unless he is being held. Time will tell how they will adjust to their new "brother".

"Evil Cat" Maxi doesn't even look one bit guilty for picking on a 2 day old!

I've had writer's block for so long. Nothing seemed worthy of writing about. Not that my life is boring but it just didn't seem like I had anything to say that others would be interested in.

May was crazy. I had started a new job in January as the Middle School Librarian and had never been through the end of year inventory and all that craziness. Bo graduated from high school, Kev graduated from college and we had a grand celebration for them. Oh, and there was a wedding slipped in there, too. I was able to get my garden in between every thing. Ana graduated with a Doctorate in Pharmacy and then gave birth to our first grandbaby a week later. That was May. Wonderful, fabulous, fun-filled May.

Then it all calmed down and my life has slipped into slow motion. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Can you hear my sighing? I was sitting in the sun just enjoying life. I felt more alive than I had in months. I'd been so weary, just going through the motions but not putting my heart into anything. I have so much to be grateful for but I can feel my life shifting gears. I can feel my role changing. I'm not sure yet where it will go but I know that change is in the air and I am ready.

So I sat lazily in the sun with a weightless sense of relief and joying washing over me, felling no guilt whatsoever for my idleness. For now, for at least that one shining afternoon, all was well with my world. I felt such a sense of peace.

I glanced around me and started to write. My thoughts just flowed out of me and I scribbled onto my yellow legal pad for 6 full pages. Life is full of surprises!

I AM A GRANDMA!!!

It has taken some time to sink in really, since we are here and they are there. Although CJ took many photos he didn't have the means to download pics until they all went home a couple of days later. Can you imagine what torture that was for all of us grandparents??

Patrick Ostein was born on May 23, 8 lbs,4.5 oz. in Tucson, Arizona ~ named after Angus' father (Patrick) and Ana's grandfather (Ostein), both of whom passed over a year ago. Isn't he gorgeous?

They thought they had planned it all with perfect timing to have the baby born right after her graduation, leaving her time off after graduation to be with the baby and study for her Boards before getting a real job (hopefully close us). Unbelievably, it worked out just as they had planned!

We haven't actually seen him yet. We haven't gotten to wrap our arms around the parents or hold the babe in our arms yet. Because they are there and we are here. It has been so hard.

Jennie's mom flew down yesterday and I am sure Ana is so grateful to have her. We are going out in 2 weeks and I am counting down the days!

God is good and life is so very sweet...

I am sitting here in the sunshine on this first day of June. It's humid and the sweat drips off my forehead onto my notebook. My hands are glistening with perspiration but, well... it feels good... the heat. It's been a long cold spring.

It's like when the kids come trundling into the house from college laden with dirty laundry and dragging guitars and amps and cords all of which get dropped in the living room. Yet they also bring laughter and music and joy back into our quiet home. It is all good.

It feels like that, this coming of summer. And just as I am so glad for the kids to come home again I am also glad for their leaving in the fall even as I feel the regret of the lonelier months to come.

Everything changes. But life is still good.