What else could you name an Irishman born on St. Patty’s Day??!! Why, only “Patrick“, of course! The family gathered on St. Patrick’s Day just like it always has… since long before I joined the family. Corned Beef and Cabbage and Potatoes. But this year, for the first time, it was without the family patriarch, Pat.

It was to be a small, informal family gathering but, well, everyone showed up. We all miss him.

So, allow me to reminisce about my favorite day with Pat. Angus was having some surgery and I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital when Pat showed up. I was surprised and pleased to see him. We began chatting to pass the time and somewhere along the way the conversation turned toward his parents.

I had known that Angus’s grandfather was an immigrant from Ireland who came over during the great famine. I also knew that his mother came to the Midwest on one of the Orphan Trains and was adopted by an Irish family. I hadn’t known she was then raised as a “Domestic”. He said she was Irish, too. I’m not sure if that was just wishful thinking or fact but he believed it. (I do, too)

His Da had come over to America all by himself at the age of 14! A couple of his older sisters had come earlier and he followed them. He made his way to the Kansas City area by himself, too. He worked as a pipe fitter until the age of 86 when he had to give it up because his shoulder went out. (I complain because Angus will have to work ‘til he is 58!).

Pat filled in a lot of missing details of my husband and sons’ family history for me and I was totally intrigued. Perhaps he embellished here and there… or not. I was fascinated and he was in his element with his story telling. The waiting time flew by for both of us.

I miss him.

Bringing them back... that's what our annual ski trips are mostly about. Yes, Angus loves to ski and we go with friends that make the trip all the more enjoyable but what it is really about is bringing the family together again.

We've found that the boys will go to any efforts possible to make it back for the ski trip. If it's possible for them ot get off and get away; they'll be there.

It is a chance to be together with their brothers in a joyfilled event. It's an opportunity to see their Dad in a new light, too. They see their Dad having fun, not working. They see him playing... no expectations! They see their fat, ol' Dad out there showing them how beautiful skiing can be... they've mastered the game but not his finesse. They aren't father and sons as much as just men doing guy stuff. They love to ski together and ditch the girls. They bond.

I am not a part of that but I can see the joy in their eyes when they get back to the condo. They are wind-burned, limping and dog tired and the pure happiness is shining out of them.

It's a beautiful sight.

My Top 10 Christmas Moments of 2006

#10 Placing the Star

It has been the custom in our family for the youngest person to put the star on the top of the tree. Beau took over the job from his brothers when he was 2 or 3 and has done it ever since. The boys want no part of the decorating any more and Beau was heading out the door while I was putting the lights on the tree. He paused before he left to remind me to wait for him when it came to the star. Although he is 17 now he still insists that he gets to place the star at the top. We all become children again at Christmas.

#9 Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

We have gone to the 11:00 PM Christmas Eve worship service for at least twenty years. We spend Christmas Eve at with Angus' family in the city and leave there just in time to get to church. It is always a peaceful candlelight service with beautiful harp or violin music. One can’t help but feel God’s presence in that atmosphere of worship. We walk out and greet one another and we are closer because of what we have just experienced and everyone looks like a friend on that night. We hug and wish one another a happy Christmas and we mean it. There is love in the room that is palpable and real and warms me even as I walk to the car in the cold.

#8 Seeing Rita happy

My mother-in-law is not really a warm woman. She is a good mother and she loves, without doubt but there is always a sense of duty and perhaps a bit of martyrdom behind it. (Is that a Catholic thing?) I don’t think I have ever seen her truly happy. I’ve seen photos of her when she was young and she was a beauty and wild, too, she says. But she gave that all up for her husband and family, I guess.

Pat has only been gone less than 2 months and we were all worried about Christmas without him… but this Christmas, Rita was happy. Her family really came together during Pat’s illness and I know that is every mom’s dream. After Pat’s passing I know she had a sense of freedom, too. She loved Pat dearly but she was tied down by his health and was always at his side. I think she has a new outlook on life now. I think she feels she deserves to be happy… and you know what? She does.

#7 Car Caroling

When the boys were small we would sing Christmas carols the whole way to Gramma and Grampa’s house, taking turns choosing the song. Whenever it was Kevin's’s turn he would always choose “We 3 Kings” even though we had just sung it 5 songs before.

We aren’t always in one car on the way into town on Christmas Eve anymore. Often one or two of the kids meets us there, but this year all 5 of us were crammed into the Cherokee (after arguing over who had to sit in the middle of the back seat, of course). There was Christmas music on the radio and suddenly Kevin burst into song. His brothers quickly joined in. They were singing off key (on purpose) and in weird voices. Angus and I looked at each other and started laughing but we chimed in, too. It was all unexpected and wonderful… like most moments of pure joy.

#6 The Gift

Nathan came to me on Christmas Eve morning bearing a gift. He is one of the 5th graders in my Sunday School class. He wanted me to open it right then and I could see he was watching me for my reaction. It was a big Christmas coffee mug and a bag of hazelnut coffee. How thoughtful! I always come into class with my coffee in hand so he knew how much I like my morning coffee. He was truly pleased with his gift and so was I. I didn’t have to fake my pleasure and I told him I was going to go get coffee in it right then… and I did.

It was very thoughtful but the best part of his giving wasn’t the gift itself but the look on his face... the anticipation, as I opened it... his naked delight at seeing my pleasure. Now that is what gifting is all about.

#5 Spontaneous Outbreak of Christmas Charades

We were all sitting around after dinner on Christmas Eve when a spontaneous game of Christmas Charades broke out. Suggested by my 13 year old niece, we started writing Christmas songs, movies and books into a cup and busted it out. By the end of the evening just about everyone had joined in. Even Gramma took a turn! Suddenly, we weren’t just a bunch of relatives gathered, but truly a family.

#4 Santa at School

Santa made a surprise visit to the school where I work. He was pretty much wandering through the halls "ho-ho-ho"ing, handing out candy canes and just chatting with the kids. I was watching as a kindergarten class noticed him. They were so excited! Some were talking to him, hugging him and asking him questions. Then I noticed Levi. He was just gazing up at Santa. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on his face. It was one of pure and simple joy and amazement. He was awestruck!

I am so glad I happened to witness that very moment. I saw “Christmas” on Levi’s face, or at least a symbol of what it should be… a sense of joy and wonder at the gift that is Christmas.

#3 The Hayride

I was only one week before Christmas and the place we usually cut our Christmas tree had already closed for the season. We hadn’t been to the Schmidt’s Farm in years, too crowded and too expensive, but it was open and we needed a our tree. We pulled into the lot and the place was nearly deserted except for the workers that watched us pull in.

The old man on the tractor was friendly as we chose a saw and climbed onto the haywagon . He drove us to the grove of Christmas trees and pointed us to the best trees. The boys were cutting up, kidding one another, laughing and enjoying one another. We jumped out and cut a beautiful, fine tree.
The air was crisp and piney as we headed back to the barn. I sat on a hay bale holding Angus’ hand across from my happy, laughing sons riding in a wagon on a dirt path through the silent woods. All of the stress of the season fell away from my shoulders. I couldn’t have been happier.

#2 Sharing Christmas Dinner with the Homeless

Several months ago our church started a homeless outreach program after several of us read the book “Under the Overpass” by Mike Yankoski. Angus has been has been heavily involved with that mission work. They’ve been taking food and supplies into the city every Sunday after church to a group that has grown from 3 to about 12 living in the woods near a railroad bridge in the city. They have developed a rapport with many of them and invited them to worship with us on Christmas Eve morning. Three of them took up the offer.

They were well received and warmly welcomed. They praised God and worshiped right beside us. Someone at the worship service even asked Cathy to pass on a $100 bill to each of the three.

After Worship, our families joined Whiskey, Marvin and Paula for Christmas dinner. It was my first time to meet these people that my husband had come to know and care about. We chatted and they talked about their enjoyment, especially of the music, and of other church services that two of them had attended regularly in San Antone last year before they came to Kansas City. Our group had bought Christmas presents for all of them, specifically chosen for each of them (and for those that didn’t come, as well). There were tarps, and sleeping bags and back packs and blankets and buckets and flashlights. I felt moved and blessed to have been a part of it all.

#1 Christmas Came

In some ways I think I am like the Grinch. I don’t hate Christmas but I hate what it has become… I hate that I am a reluctant participant in the “Christmas Machine”. I try to make it happen in a certain way and I try to manipulate the ones around me into making everything special and memorable. They balk or simply will not comply. There is tension. I want to simplify it but I complicate it by trying to schedule it all. The season is short and if we are going to fit it all in it takes good planning!

This year I just did not do it. I usually feel compelled to create memories and uphold traditions. You’d think that by now I’d realize that traditions are useless if they hold no meaning. You’d think I’d know that memories can only happen naturally. It is moments; unplanned and unanticipated moments, that create memories. This year I didn’t try to remake Christmas into my ideal of what it should be; I just let it happen naturally… and it came.

It came in a simple beautiful, memorable, peaceful way. Like Levi gazing into Santa’s face, I want react to Christmas, the amazing gift of our savior come to us, with pure joy and wonder and love shining out of my heart for all to share.

"We need to cook the turkey and free up some freezer space." Angus said. He was thinking about the fresh beef we will have next week when we have the steers butchered. He was thinking about Zeke coming home for 10 days of Spring Break this weekend. With all the boys home the turkey idea sounded great. Angus wanted to invite his parents as well...and, maybe, his nephew and wife. Okay, sounds good.

Hmmm, probably should invite his big brother. And his other brother, too. Oh, yes and he told me he also invited his sister. Then he'd have to invite his other sister even if it would be unlikely that she could make it. You can't invite everyone and not her (and her 5 big kids)! He was right of course. And Zeke invited his girlfriend (who ended up bringing a friend with her).

Somehow a nice little Sunday dinner with the family turned into a major cook-&-clean-all-weekend feast event. We weren't sure whether there would be 10 people or 20. We brought the long table up from the basement and more dishes...just in case. Dug out the tablecloths and the folding chairs, too.

We ended up with 13 family members gathered in holiday fashion on a regular ol' Sunday. There was barely enough food but much conversation and laughter and love. We discovered that there is as much to be thankful for around a big turkey dinner during Lent as there is in November.

We may just have begun a new family tradition!

We had the grand Christmas Tree Hunt and Party the Saturday after Thanksgiving... earlier than usual but we wanted Zeke to be here for it. He had to head back to college on Monday so we readjusted our schedules. Mom and Dad, Peto and family, DGB and family, Jodie and family, Candy and family all came up to search for their trees. Afterward we came back to the house for chili and fun. Mom's knee is bad so she stayed behind this year at the house to watch the chili and keep the fire going.

Everyone piled into cars and we took off. When we got to the Christmas Tree Farm it was discovered that Candy's daughter with us. Candy thought she was in one of theother vehicles that had already headed out since she couldn't find her when we were all leaving. Turns out Veve had walked out to the chicken coop and was chicken watching when we all pulled away. She is in Jr. High now so was not too disappointed ...perhaps it was even intentional?

Everyone had a wonderful time. The house was crammed with people but it felt good to be together. The weather was nice enough that a bunch of us even ate out on the back deck! The traditon continues now with another generation of little ones.