I recently came across the photo that was taken right before my youngest son, Beau, left to make a life in Denver at the end of July.  He and his girlfriend, Joy, had just graduated from college.  They had no jobs waiting for them but were going to sleep on the floor of a friend’s apartment until they could find something.   I pulled up this picture and enlarged it on my computer to see our smiling faces.  Everyone looks good.  Happy. 

Look closer.   Maybe you won’t notice, if you don’t know that we are usually a family full of silly.  We pose with wide grins that shine right up to our eyes, but there is sadness in these smiles.  We are happy for one another but there is no joy in these melancholy smiles.

I knew when Beau graduated he would be off seeking adventures and a life of his own.  This is the way it should be. I know that.  My goal as a parent has been to prepare my kids to leave us and make a place for themselves in the real world and to follow God’s lead in making it more beautiful.  I really do want that. 

There were no tears when they left, only happiness, and cheer and excitement.  Angus and I hugged them off and waved farewell.  Even as I stood and watched their jam-packed cars pull away, I knew we were entering a new stage in our life. They were not the first of our children to go off but they are the last.  A little place inside me went empty right then. But life goes on and I turned back toward the house and let it feel normal.  We still have Kev and CJ and their wonderful wives, and our beautiful grandchildren are all 4 close by.  That is a wonderful blessing in itself!

The best and the worst of life is that it is always moving, always changing,  unpredictable and we have to make choices that are difficult.  The changes can be wonderful or heartbreaking.  Usually it's somewhere in between that but life goes on.  We can fight against it but it comes.  Be ready (and willing?).  

Lord, give me the strength and and insight to move with it.  Don’t let me be left behind and go all stagnant.  Lead me to new adventures.  Grow me in ways that I can’t even imagine yet!