CJ and Anah headed out yesterday. They will go down to visit Joey in Springfiled before leaving for Tucson. It will be a long drive but they are young and in love so the traveling will be an adventure. They were here for 9 days and did not wear out their welcome! That is a long time to have guests, I think, in a busy crowded home. Of course, they spent much of their time visiting friends and with Anah's family.

CJ can drive us crazy with his know-it-all attitude and we can drive him crazy for the same reason. We both tried to keep that in check and things went well. It was good to have him home. I hope the tradition will continue. We are fortunate that Anah's family lives in this town, too!

One by one the boys came home for Christmas holiday and once again the house was full of testosterone and FUN! I am not sure how I got so lucky that our kids don't seem to have the sibling rivalry that Angus and I endured as children. It isn't as if they agree on everything but they just seem to respect that they are each different and have different needs. They always have. We are fortunate in that way.

Anyway, having the brothers home has caused me to miss Jörgy very much. I hadn't really missed him too much until recently but with all of the holiday activities I keep wishing he were here to share in the joy of it all. He called on Christmas Eve all the way from his home in Germany! It was great to talk to him. He hates talking on the phone so it was a real sacrifice for him to call and be put through talking to all of us plus Brady's Bella, who was here at time, too. His English was very good and we had no trouble understanding him, which is his greatest concern and the reason he avoids the phone. It made me have that old happy/sad feeling to talk with him. I told him that I missed him and meant it. My boys are not all home without their German brother.

Zeke and Bella came crashing into the house carrying arm load after arm load of dirty laundry and stuff and bringing joy into our home as well. He said he had not done laundry since he was home at Thanksgiving! It was so good to have him home...even baring dirty laundry. The house is warmer when he is around.

CJ and Anah arrived "home" (from their other home in Tucson) on Monday late. I wasn't looking for them until Tuesday and was still in the process of switching Beau's room from a teenage mess to a guest room for a married couple. It was great to see them!

Angus and Beau moved Beau's twin mattress into Zeke's room and flopped in onto the floor. Then they drug the old double bed mattress and springs up from the basement put them in Beau's room. After setting it all up Angus decided the old bed was just too crummy for guests. He went out and bought a brand new one for them. They were so surprised to actually have a room to themselves! Beau had even cleaned everything up and tried his best to make it nice for them. We are just getting to know Anah and she seemed pleased with the arrangement, too, and the privacy. I know living in this house can sometimes feel like a fraternity house with all the guys around.

Yesterday CJ sat down at our computer to figure out our internet problem..we've been without since Thanksgiving and have had two different computer-savvy college kids look at it without result. Lots of ideas and advice was tried and nothing had worked. We were getting advice to reformat which strikes fear into my heart since I've done that before.

Anyway, within ten minutes of his turning on the computer it was back up and running...with the help of a phone call to our nephew Nate and CJ's knowledge combined, they got it going again and we are up and running! Woo Hoo! Who ever said that boy was good for nothin'?!

Anyway, I had really missed the internet... but was able get a little internet "fix" at work. I sure got a lot more done at home though without it.

The Christmas tree had been up a week and I still had not decorated it. No one wants to help with it anymore and it has become a chore rather than a joy. I kind of enjoyed seeing it au naturale and threatened to leave it that way since no one wanted to help decorate it. Sunday I asked a couple of high school girls if they wanted to come over and help decorate the tree and they were all excited to do it. I remember when the boys were little and they felt that way about it, too. They have apparently outgrown that thrill.

Tuesday Brook and Danielle came over and untangled light and strung them and wrapped cranberry and bead garlands and unwrapped ornaments and placed them perfectly on our tree. Brook said her mom was so picky about where and how everything went on. I was easy-going about it, I honestly didn't care what they did with it. I got out the Santa hats and they delighted in wearing them as we worked. We had a great time and had hot cocoa after. I was so grateful! It has been such a no-fun job for the last several years. Now I am reminded of how fun it can be if you have the right frame of mind. Isn't it that way with just about everything?

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at the sky. Something was different…besides the snow that had been slowly drifting down all afternoon and into the evening. I had headed out to lock up the roosting chickens for the night and then on to the woodpile to bring in enough logs to load up the woodstove to last the night. It’s a cold night so my mind was on how many logs I could carry and whether I would find the chicken water to be frozen. But something felt different so I stopped and paid attention.

It’s usually totally dark as I walk the same path every night, trusting the way to memory until my eyes adjust to the dark and I can see the porch light on my return to the house. I usually hear leaves rustling in the woods as nocturnal creatures scurry away at the sound of my approaching footsteps. This night there was not a star in the sky but it was bright out from the white snow covering the ground.

It was the complete and pure silence that had caught the attention of my wandering mind. As I listened I realized that I could hear the sound of the tiny pellets of snow hitting my knit cap! The snow was too fine to even see in the darkness but I could hear it. As I listened, an owl called out from a tree nearby and another answered from the deeper in the woods. The conversations went on for several minutes then the soft silence again. I looked around at the soft whiteness all around me. There were no angles anywhere to be seen and all was shades of gray. It was quiet. I was overwhelmed with a complete feeling of peace like I have never felt before.

It occurs to me that my life is filled with constant sounds. There’s the click of the keyboard, the hum of the computer, the whoosh of the furnace, the blather of the TV, the noises of machines and voices and even music. The sounds are so common and constant that a pure silence can grab our attention as much as a scream.

Peace be with you.

We had the grand Christmas Tree Hunt and Party the Saturday after Thanksgiving... earlier than usual but we wanted Zeke to be here for it. He had to head back to college on Monday so we readjusted our schedules. Mom and Dad, Peto and family, DGB and family, Jodie and family, Candy and family all came up to search for their trees. Afterward we came back to the house for chili and fun. Mom's knee is bad so she stayed behind this year at the house to watch the chili and keep the fire going.

Everyone piled into cars and we took off. When we got to the Christmas Tree Farm it was discovered that Candy's daughter with us. Candy thought she was in one of theother vehicles that had already headed out since she couldn't find her when we were all leaving. Turns out Veve had walked out to the chicken coop and was chicken watching when we all pulled away. She is in Jr. High now so was not too disappointed ...perhaps it was even intentional?

Everyone had a wonderful time. The house was crammed with people but it felt good to be together. The weather was nice enough that a bunch of us even ate out on the back deck! The traditon continues now with another generation of little ones.

From a friend:

Part I~

We've had a fire at our house tonight...while we were at a soccer game. A 250 watt heat lamp fell into one of the cages with the baby chicks in it and caught the newspaper and pine shavings on fire. We've had one casualty...so far. The rest were traumatized and singed. The house was completely filled with smoke when we got home, but the fire had burned itself out, thankfully. Other than smelling like we had a bonfire in the living room, there was no damage to the house. I feel awful about the little Buff Orpington, though. There was a plastic container of gasoline just 3 feet from the fire. We were very, very lucky.

Part II~

All but 3 of the chicks are just fine and don't seem to have any ill effects from their ordeal. I don't know why the lamp fell in...it was (I thought) securely clamped to the top of the kennel, and I had another clamp holding it to make it even more secure.

If you know any way to get the campfire smell out of the house, let me know. It's not the acrid smell you think of with most housefires...it was, after all, pine...mixed with a little chicken, if you'll pardon the sick joke. I think the smell is getting better, or maybe I'm just getting used to it.

It was a miracle nothing else happened. I can't imagine why ALL the newspapers and shavings didn't burn. The fire just stopped short of where the little chicks were huddled, terrified. Angels' wings must have fanned it out.

The most badly burned chick is in isolation in my bathroom. She is eating and chirping, but not very mobile. The bottoms of her feet were burned, so it is probably painful to move around much. I put some antibiotic ointment on the wound on her head, but it looks worse today...oozing. If I thought she was suffering, I should ...kill her, but I don't know that she is in pain and don't think I could kill her anyway. I'll wait a day or two and see how she does.

Part III~

I was doing laundry today, and walked in my bedroom, looked out the window and almost had a heart attack. Our bedroom is directly over the basement garage where the chicks were housed, and where the fire had occurred, and what appeared to be smoke was pouring up past the window. I quickly realized that it was the dryer exhaust hitting the cold morning air, and not smoke I was seeing. After what we experienced, you get a little jumpy...

Part IV~

I want to try to save and keep Sparky. She's kept me company while I do all the things I do in the bathroom...she's seen me naked and didn't laugh. I really, really like her. I don't know if she will ever be normal or if she'll even survive, but she's a fighter, and very possibly, a heroine.

Latest news is that Sparky has healed and is now a sweet little pet. We'll see how that goes!

It's not really my "job" to take out the trash but the can was overflowing, tomorrow is Trash Day and I was the only one home. I am not fond of the chore but I hadn't been outside all day except walking to and from the Jeep for work and back so I thought a good crisp jaunt out to the road might be good for me.

I stepped out the door into the cool night air and wondered if I should have put on a jacket over my light sweater. I decided I was too lazy to head back in, I'd tough it out and hussle. I threw the heavy bag onto my back and started jogging along our long driveway. Suddenly, at the curve of the driveway between the big Oak and the huge Elm I entered a different world! I had run right out of the large halo of light provided by the flood lights on the house and into a pitch black nothing. All I could see before me was a splendid view of millions of stars! I could still feel the pale light behind me as my eyes adjusted a bit to the darkness. I moved on, slowly, feeling my way up the drive more than seeing it. It was so beautiful that I couldn't help but think of God and I couldn't help but be reminded how small and insignifcant and short-lived we humans really are in the universe.

Putting things into perspective now and then is good for the soul....taking out the trash can be, too.

What frightens me most about scary movies is that somebody could actually come up with the awful scenarios!... and then that they would choose to share their wicked & warped ideas with others!... and, most of all, that people would choose to watch them and feel entertained!

That thought came to me as I was sitting quietly alone in the hot tub out in the beautiful Autumn morning. It was one of those days when birds flock up and there are thousands that come by out here in the country, gathering in black masses on the yards and fields and blackening the trees like charred leaves. Their calls were so loud as they all complained at once about the upcoming cold and lack of food, I supposed. I doubt anyone who has seen the old classic movie "The Birds" can see a these Fall flockings without having that movie cross one's mind.

I first saw it many, many years after it's conception on some late night movie years ago. I wasn't in the slightest bit frightened, knowing a bit about the nature of birds, and was more annoyed that someone would choose to frighten folks into believing that flocks of birds would attack people. Upon later viewings I was more amused by the actors obvious horror of something so terribly un-horrific. Why were they so stupid!?? Then I remembered that it is only a movie.

I guess that is why I hate Horror movies so much. It feels like they play on people's fears, but then why do we watch? Well, I don't... but many do and I haven't yet figured out why. I have never, ever enjoyed being frightened.

Hmmm...perhaps it is because I am someone that gets so lost in a movie that I totally forget for awhile that it is make-believe!

AHA!

Angus was carefully backing out of the cabin as I cleaned up breakfast dishes. He had just spent 15 minutes gathering his fishing gear, attaching his reel to the fly rod, threading the line and tying on the perfect tiny fly and was now loading up the Jeep so I could drop him off at the stream. He was maneuvering out of the door trying to get that loooong pole when the wooden screen door slapped against the pole. It snapped. He silently brought the pole back into the cabin to inspect the damage. I watched silently, too, wondering if this would ruin this fishing trip he had looked forward to for weeks.

He laid the pole down and began to unthread it and take the reel off. He went out to the Jeep and brought in his old, shorter pole and began the process all over again. I don't know why he had thrown in the old pole but what a blessing that he had! I know that Angus tends to notice the negative so I worried that he would hold his new broken pole in his thoughts all day and let it fester.

I dropped him at the stream and gathered my sketch book, notebook and camera and headed off to do my own thing. I wrote a few postcards, journaled a bit, then decided to hike a little. I chose the path along the bluffs and the stream hoping to get a glimpse of Angus.

The days was one of those perfect early Fall days..very cool in the morning warming up to a blue-sky day with that crispness in the air that one can only feel in the Autumn. I took photos of the stream and the trees and of fisherman and the arched bridge and the blue sky with the white branches of a sycamore tree and its' starting-to-turn leaves and of an old rusty Stop sign. All along the stream I saw people catching trout and I hoped that Angus was doing the same.

He was! He had caught and released several and then caught his limit while watched and photographed. Perfect timing! He cleaned the fish and packed them away in the cooler as I unpacked lunch. We sat in lawn chairs under the trees to eat our sandwhiches and I listened to his fishing stories. It was beautiful.

Yes, he tells everyone had badly the trip began, although it really had begun well. The nice car trip (I didn't even fall asleep like I usually do!), the quiet late dinner, the rustic cabin, the sleeping in (soooo rare), the good breakfast, all happened before the "Pole Incident". But, for him, maybe the whole fishing experience was richer because of the bad part. Maybe he recognized that crummy stuff happens and life goes on and can get better!

The fine fresh trout dinner with the family was wonderful. Life is good!