Today is April Fool's Day but it was yesterday that I felt so foolish. I guess the story begins Thursday when I left my purse at the church after Bible Study. I did not discover it until I reached to grab it as I got out of the car at home. No worries. I had a Dr. Appointment in the morning and would drive right by church on the way anyway. It was barely an inconvenience.

I was running a bit late the next morning and was having to rush. As I drove to the church I suddenly realize that I was really bothered at the thought of this appointment with an Ophthalmologist. When I had my annual eye exam for new glasses the Dr. found a spot, a discoloration, on my retina. He wanted a specialist to check it out...just to make sure...probably nothing.

That was over two weeks ago and not being much of a worrier I had put it out of my mind. I had a lot more pressing things on my mind (my college sons enrolling for Fall semester, applying for Financial Aid and considering transferring). I had a lot more serious things to pray about (my mother-in-law with lung cancer & radiation & Chemo treatments, my father-in-law in the hospital with a failing heart & health). I had more pressing things to get done (the end of year duties on the job). I had more immediate concerns (would I get the Nursery mural finished before the visit by the Bishop?) I had more troubling things to work out (am I where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing?). I was too busy to worry about something that was probably nothing (planning for my 4-6th grade Sunday School class, my Wed. night Jr. High Bible Study class and my Sunday evening Sr. High Community Circle painting class and the Lenten Bible Study class I had committed to on Thursdays...and...)

But as I headed out for the appointment my brain started on those evil "what ifs". I thought about how much my eyesight means to me with my art and my reading. I started thinking about Murphy's Law. I started thinking how I take my eyesight for granted. I tried to push this all aside and give it to God but it kept coming back. Every song that came on the radio was about trusting God and how great is my God and I was needing to hear that.

I stopped at the church and ran in to grab my purse and ran into an acquaintance. She began telling me how great the mural I had painted on the Nursery wall was and would I consider doing it in her home...blah blah blah was what I was hearing. I apologized and told her I was really in a hurry, late for a Dr. appointment and went into the classroom for my purse. As I was leaving it occurred to me to ask her to pray for me. I stopped before I walked out and did just that. I began to cry as I told her what was going on. I felt stupid and foolish as I told her about it and that it was no big deal but it was just weighing on me for some reason. She was wonderful, even in my feeling stupidness. She said she would, of course, pray for me and even offered to drive me to the appointment, which I declined.

I prayed as I pulled out of the parking lot and knew that she was praying, too, and I was comforted and calm and all was well.

Now here is what I am thinking about the whole thing. I think that I was under stress that I didn't even realize because I am actually enjoying the busyness in my life right now. I love what is going on in my spiritual life and with the kids at church and I'm busy but don't feel overwhelmed and I am taking time to pray every day and get with God throughout the day better than usual. And I've lost a little weight with little effort and the weather is great and I'm getting outside a lot and, well, even with the failing health of loved ones (or perhaps because of it) I am recognizing the joy of life and the glory of God. I feel that life is good, in spite of, you know... life.

I thought I was taking care of my spiritual life as I spun all these plates in the air... but I prayed about what I should be praying about instead of looking into my heart to pray about what I needed to be praying about. Will I ever learn?

Thankfully God always knows just what I need so much better than I do. He must have seen my mini-crisis coming. I don't believe in coincidences. A purse left at church that had to be retrieved before I could go to my appointment. The songs on the radio. A friend in Christ in the exact right place to hook up with me at the exact moment I needed an ear ...she wasn't in the nursery or the rest room or the meeting room or the classroom or the office but right there in the hall as I came through.

God is good. All the time.