I began to wonder if anyone else experienced God moments out of the blue like I do. I found the blog entries below that are beautiful illustrations, I think.

The first from God Still Loves Us Even Without a Lint Roller:

Lil kitty wanted my attention desperately. I didn’t want her to get on me because she would shed hair all over me and I didn’t have anything to clean it off… but she still wanted my attention. She didn’t understand why I didn’t want her to sit with me like she always had.. she’s a cat.. she understands mouse toy and food. But this started to make me think about God and me. I know there have been so many times I have shed my junk on him… but he always welcomes me back. He evens tells me to caste my burdens on him…

God knows we shed a lot… but like the prodigal son He waits for us to come to him as we are. The thing I learned from this little cat was persistence. Jesus taught us to knock and keep on knocking, ask and keep on asking, seek and keep on seeking and we will find what we need, the doors will be opened to us. God likes us to be persistent with him… not arrogant… but lovingly persistent in coming to him with our needs… just how we are. Max Lucado I think said it best when he wrote "God loves us exactly how we are but he is unwilling to leave us there." I’m glad that God is not worried about having a lint roller to show his love to me. He took care of all that already, all he wants from me is persistence in coming to him.

It took a small cat to remind me about pursuing God.

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This one from This is How It Should Be:

i just feel very light and centered. i went for a walk this morning and all of the trees looked so vibrant and the air felt really clean. i've been thinking about these ‘this is God’ moments i've been having a lot -- moments when everything feels aligned -- and i think, ‘yes, this is God.’ for example, the other day i was standing on the corner of burnside in downtown portland, right across from this giant bookstore called Powells. it was a bright, cold saturday morning. i was standing with a group of people waiting for the crosswalk to clear, and i felt this overwhelming sense of connectedness to these strangers. it seemed like we were all smiling, breathing in the sunshine and each other. at that moment, i felt like i had arrived. that this was how life is beyond the pain and frustration of day to day living -- this sort of quiet connectedness.”

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Lovely.

Yesterday I noticed seven God moments. That both pleases me and shames me. My goal is to one day see my whole day filled with them! Finding four God moments was my previous "record" so you see why seven feels good and why I am eager to notice more of them.

My Definition of a God Moment and Why I Want More:

I'll begin by mentioning one of my most amazing God moments. I was driving one night on the hilly road that leads to our home. It's a dark wooded area with no houses, just trees lining both sides of the road. I don't remember what I was thinking about but whatever it vanished the second I topped the hill.

There before me at the top of the next hill was a gigantic full moon right smack in the middle of the horizon. It looked as if the trees had parted for it like the red sea for Moses. The road was leading right to this gorgeous moon and I was driving toward it! It was slightly eery, totally amazing and filled me with wonder at the joy and beauty before me.

I actually stopped the car in the middle of the hill to take it all in. I knew, like all God moments, that it would be fleeting. I drove on home, grabbed my camera and went back but everything had already changed. A cloud had partially overtaken the moon and it was higher in the sky already, not lifting up from the earth itself any longer as it had appeared only minutes earlier. It doesnt really matter because, I still have that picture in my memory. That was a wonderful God moment.

They are all wonderful and usually much more simple. A God moment is a snapshot in time when I notice the presence of God.

I am trying to get closer to God this year. I've been through a small group study called "God is Closer Than You Think" based on the book of the same name by Jonn Ortberg. I've read the book Does God Believe In You? by Keith R. Anderson and it is right at the top of my favorite reading and rereading right along with an old favorite Attitudes of Gratitude by M.J. Ryan. Everything I read and learn and feel tells me that God is right here with us every single minute of life... if only we would notice. If we feel far from God it is not because God has moved away from us. He is calling our names but we aren't listening. We aren't paying attention! I know this is true and I am working on being a better listener.

Recognizing my God moments is part of my exercise to get my heart muscle in the right place to see God's presence everywhere. When I look back on my day I often see that there were many, many times when God was revealing himself but I missed them. ...The hugs from the kids at school, a shared moment with a friend, a compassionate prayer by a Jr. High kid at Bible Study, Beau singing so loud to the radio in his room that it can be heard clear out in the kitchen. I was too caught up in the busyness of my day and my own thoughts to recognize it as a God moment!

So, I'm working on that. I want to recognize God everywhere I look. I know he is there trying to get my attention in his own subtle ways. Will I ever pay attention?
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1 Kings 19:11 &12
Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before GOD. GOD will pass by." A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before GOD, but GOD wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but GOD wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but GOD wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent. When I first began this web log a year and a half ago i was tentative about using the real names of my loved ones. I just wasn't sure how "public" a blog really is and for the safety of my family and just for fun, too, I made up code names for everyone... just in case. (don't ask)

My husband is the 5th child of 6 and by the time his mother named him she had run out of ideas. She tells how she sat in the hospital searching through the pages of the obituaries for names of the deceased and their loved ones left behind. Kind of creepy but ingenious as well and that is where she found his name.

In our own family, finding names for sons number 3 and 4 was about finding a name that sounded okay next to the names of their big brothers and their strong Irish surname. Maybe the native American Indians had it right by choosing a permanent name for their kids when they became "men" and "women".

Anyway, I got to pick new names for one and all and some people have asked about that. So here is my reasoning and how I chose.

the etymology and history of first names was the website I used to help me figure out what I wanted.

Angus ~ Irish, "one strength or force" .. He is the strength behind our family. He keeps us going.
Kevin ~ Old Irish, "Kind, gentle, handsome" ..That says it all about "Kev".
Zeke ~ from Hebrew meaning "God strengthens" ..That is where he gets his strength, the perfect name for him.
Beau ~ "beautiful" ..He is. Loved by all for his contagious joy for life.

So there it is.

The line of cars was several lanes wide and stretched the whole length of the parking lot when we came to pick up our new cabinet. We had just purchased it after months of talk of building one and of half-hearted looking. Finally we made the commitment after my mom threatened to give her china to my neice instead of me.

Our dining room is small and our family is big. WHen the table is stretched out to its full square size and there are people seated there isn't much room left. But I loved those dishes and the memories that would vome with them so we shopped.

After looking locally we finally drove to the far side of the city to the famous Nebraska Furniture Mart, the grandaddy of all furniture stores. We had never been there before and were overwhelmed by the size of the place but there were a lot more options than we had seen anywhere else.

We found the Dining department and were looking them over when Rachel, the saleswoman stopped by to see if she could help us. We hesitantly told her what we were looking for. She convinced us that we would need to order it to get what we needed and helped us through that process. The price was more than 3 times what we had hoped to pay but after all the searching and the mom-threat we went on with it. With order in hand we moved away resigned but not happy trying to convince one another that we were at least done with it all.

We ran into some old friends on our way out and chatted for a half hour or so and then continued through the miles of sofas and lighting and lounge chairs to the escalator. We stepped off the moving stairs into another sea of furniture. Off to our left Angus noticed some curio cabinets and suggested we take a walk through. That's where we found this perfect "book case" that we bought to put our china in. No fancy lighting within to display our china, no glass shelves, just simple and lovely. Perfect for us and within our budget.

After a good lunch at an Irish Pub nearby we drove the 70 miles back home content to have left that place behind us... not knowing when or how we would pick up our new cabinet but happy we had found it.

I heard the strange tap dancing sound coming from outside. I went to the window gazed down on the deck below but saw nothing. Suddenly I realized the sound was coming from above me. I leaned my cheek close to the glass and looked up to see a line of feathered tails bobbing from the gutter above. I suppose the birds were lined up drinking from the stream of melting ice flowing into the gutters. It has been in the 20°s today but finally sunny after days of cold. I went for the camera but the birds were gone before I returned.

When the weather gets like this, with freezing rain and ice and dipping below 0° at night, I hunker down at home and stay put. Leaving the house only to carry in the logs for the fire and to the dog and the chickens.

The animals I see from my toasty shelter, unlike me, seem to be more active than usual. The birds frantically attack the feeders and one another for the prime feeding spots. The squirrels come looking for the peanuts that I put out on the deck last week. The raucous Blue Jays and the parade of bounding, leaping, and creeping squirrels have already consumed those leaving only the cast off shells to blow off onto the icey grass below. They do their acrobatic Olympics, trying their best to beat the designer of the squirrel-proof bird feeders I have hung outside the kitchen window.

A rabbit hops up to the fence of the chicken run. He must smell the grain within but he is locked out and moves on. I look out later as I wash dishes and see a flock of cardinals pecking at the scratch I threw out earlier for the chickens. The chickens are in their coop staying out of the wind but the Cardinals do not seem to notice it. I see a Robin and a male Buebird hopping from branch to branch of the Hackberry tree above the old playhouse gobbling up the dried berries that stubbornly still cling to the twigs. He is about a month early and I wonder what that means. An early Spring perhaps? He has come to scout out a good nest site for his mate who will come later but today he is focused on the fuel that will get him through this cold spell.

I settle back into my chair with a book I have nearly finished and feel grateful for my warm and peaceful abode.

Angus stuffs his old jackets behind the seat of his pickup truck instead of putting them in the Good Will box. He told me he often sees homeless guys on his way to and from work. He wants to have the coats handy if it looks like one of them need one. I was fascinated by this information. I don't notice that side of my husband. Anyway, he has been doing that for years now.

It was natural for him to want to hook up with the group at our church making efforts to help the homeless and he was one of the first to join up. Angus grew up in the city not far from the railroad bridge where "our" homeless folks abide. His mom still lives in that same house.

There's a QuikTrip just off the highway that we often stop for gas or coffee on our way home from Angus' mom's. I used to wonder why he always stopped there but it wasn't long before I realized he stopped looking for the homeless guys he often sees hanging around there as much as for the gas. He sometimes buys them a cup of coffee or gives them a couple of bucks and visits with them a few minutes.

I was with Angus one time when he taked to a man then went on in to pay for our gas. We had just been to the grocery store so I grabbed an apple and went over to man myself. I offered him the apple and he politely refused it and showed me his rotted teeth. "Can't eat apples any more." I think we left him with a loaf of bread that day.

Anyway, that is how our church group found this "Under the Railroad Bridge" habitat. After talking to these guys that were so often seen at this QuikTrip, they learned that they live nearby just past the highway. There is a railroad track and several have set up camp there. Originally there were just a few but as winter set in more and more have come and now there are around 12 or so now, although some come and go.

They are at the edge of the city in a wooded area. There are more services for homeless people deeper in the city but these people find it to be safer here. They say that Law Enforcement pretty much leaves them alone if they don't hassle anyone. They have built a small community.

I am thinking about them today because the weather has turned cold after a beautiful bout in the 50°s. Yesterday there was freezing rain and sleet with more to come today and snow tomorrow. I don't know how cold it got last night but it is only 19° right now. I am worried about them.

I was driving to work on only four and a half hours of sleep. I'd been off for 2 weeks for the holidays and was having trouble adjusting back to the "go to bed early & wake up early" routine. I'd been allowing myself to wake up naturally and it felt so good! But yesterday it was back to rising before the sun and dressing in the dark while my husband who works nights still slept. I'd stayed up way too late the night before and knew I would pay the price for that as the day wore on. But it was the beginning of a new year and it felt good to be looking at the future.

My 15 minute morning drive along the back roads is always a spiritual, praying, thinking and readying time for me. The low light of dawn is conducive to peaceful and rejuvenating thought. I needed that as I headed back to work (and the "real" world) .

I had just rounded a bend when I suddenly saw the full moon low in the darkened, tri-colored sky. There was a brilliant star low beside it and it shown so brightly that it looked a promise. The Morning Star. It looked like a beautiful, surreal watercolor painting. The colorful sky, the full moon, the brilliant morning star and the perfect timing & feeling of heading into a brand new year... it lifted me to a place of hope.

Okay, so I know that the star was really a planet, probably Venus, but that does not take away my joy of that very moment. I have never seen anything like that before and I will take that image with me and remember it. I will pull that painting from my brain it will remind me of the feelings I had. Brains and memories are good for that. I'll think of this new year and of hope and that God gives us a renewed strength when we need a fresh start. It always amazes me that God gives us just what we need when we need it. He knows before we ask and it is just there waiting for us to notice.

I wonder how many times I don't.

My Top 10 Christmas Moments of 2006

#10 Placing the Star

It has been the custom in our family for the youngest person to put the star on the top of the tree. Beau took over the job from his brothers when he was 2 or 3 and has done it ever since. The boys want no part of the decorating any more and Beau was heading out the door while I was putting the lights on the tree. He paused before he left to remind me to wait for him when it came to the star. Although he is 17 now he still insists that he gets to place the star at the top. We all become children again at Christmas.

#9 Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

We have gone to the 11:00 PM Christmas Eve worship service for at least twenty years. We spend Christmas Eve at with Angus' family in the city and leave there just in time to get to church. It is always a peaceful candlelight service with beautiful harp or violin music. One can’t help but feel God’s presence in that atmosphere of worship. We walk out and greet one another and we are closer because of what we have just experienced and everyone looks like a friend on that night. We hug and wish one another a happy Christmas and we mean it. There is love in the room that is palpable and real and warms me even as I walk to the car in the cold.

#8 Seeing Rita happy

My mother-in-law is not really a warm woman. She is a good mother and she loves, without doubt but there is always a sense of duty and perhaps a bit of martyrdom behind it. (Is that a Catholic thing?) I don’t think I have ever seen her truly happy. I’ve seen photos of her when she was young and she was a beauty and wild, too, she says. But she gave that all up for her husband and family, I guess.

Pat has only been gone less than 2 months and we were all worried about Christmas without him… but this Christmas, Rita was happy. Her family really came together during Pat’s illness and I know that is every mom’s dream. After Pat’s passing I know she had a sense of freedom, too. She loved Pat dearly but she was tied down by his health and was always at his side. I think she has a new outlook on life now. I think she feels she deserves to be happy… and you know what? She does.

#7 Car Caroling

When the boys were small we would sing Christmas carols the whole way to Gramma and Grampa’s house, taking turns choosing the song. Whenever it was Kevin's’s turn he would always choose “We 3 Kings” even though we had just sung it 5 songs before.

We aren’t always in one car on the way into town on Christmas Eve anymore. Often one or two of the kids meets us there, but this year all 5 of us were crammed into the Cherokee (after arguing over who had to sit in the middle of the back seat, of course). There was Christmas music on the radio and suddenly Kevin burst into song. His brothers quickly joined in. They were singing off key (on purpose) and in weird voices. Angus and I looked at each other and started laughing but we chimed in, too. It was all unexpected and wonderful… like most moments of pure joy.

#6 The Gift

Nathan came to me on Christmas Eve morning bearing a gift. He is one of the 5th graders in my Sunday School class. He wanted me to open it right then and I could see he was watching me for my reaction. It was a big Christmas coffee mug and a bag of hazelnut coffee. How thoughtful! I always come into class with my coffee in hand so he knew how much I like my morning coffee. He was truly pleased with his gift and so was I. I didn’t have to fake my pleasure and I told him I was going to go get coffee in it right then… and I did.

It was very thoughtful but the best part of his giving wasn’t the gift itself but the look on his face... the anticipation, as I opened it... his naked delight at seeing my pleasure. Now that is what gifting is all about.

#5 Spontaneous Outbreak of Christmas Charades

We were all sitting around after dinner on Christmas Eve when a spontaneous game of Christmas Charades broke out. Suggested by my 13 year old niece, we started writing Christmas songs, movies and books into a cup and busted it out. By the end of the evening just about everyone had joined in. Even Gramma took a turn! Suddenly, we weren’t just a bunch of relatives gathered, but truly a family.

#4 Santa at School

Santa made a surprise visit to the school where I work. He was pretty much wandering through the halls "ho-ho-ho"ing, handing out candy canes and just chatting with the kids. I was watching as a kindergarten class noticed him. They were so excited! Some were talking to him, hugging him and asking him questions. Then I noticed Levi. He was just gazing up at Santa. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on his face. It was one of pure and simple joy and amazement. He was awestruck!

I am so glad I happened to witness that very moment. I saw “Christmas” on Levi’s face, or at least a symbol of what it should be… a sense of joy and wonder at the gift that is Christmas.

#3 The Hayride

I was only one week before Christmas and the place we usually cut our Christmas tree had already closed for the season. We hadn’t been to the Schmidt’s Farm in years, too crowded and too expensive, but it was open and we needed a our tree. We pulled into the lot and the place was nearly deserted except for the workers that watched us pull in.

The old man on the tractor was friendly as we chose a saw and climbed onto the haywagon . He drove us to the grove of Christmas trees and pointed us to the best trees. The boys were cutting up, kidding one another, laughing and enjoying one another. We jumped out and cut a beautiful, fine tree.
The air was crisp and piney as we headed back to the barn. I sat on a hay bale holding Angus’ hand across from my happy, laughing sons riding in a wagon on a dirt path through the silent woods. All of the stress of the season fell away from my shoulders. I couldn’t have been happier.

#2 Sharing Christmas Dinner with the Homeless

Several months ago our church started a homeless outreach program after several of us read the book “Under the Overpass” by Mike Yankoski. Angus has been has been heavily involved with that mission work. They’ve been taking food and supplies into the city every Sunday after church to a group that has grown from 3 to about 12 living in the woods near a railroad bridge in the city. They have developed a rapport with many of them and invited them to worship with us on Christmas Eve morning. Three of them took up the offer.

They were well received and warmly welcomed. They praised God and worshiped right beside us. Someone at the worship service even asked Cathy to pass on a $100 bill to each of the three.

After Worship, our families joined Whiskey, Marvin and Paula for Christmas dinner. It was my first time to meet these people that my husband had come to know and care about. We chatted and they talked about their enjoyment, especially of the music, and of other church services that two of them had attended regularly in San Antone last year before they came to Kansas City. Our group had bought Christmas presents for all of them, specifically chosen for each of them (and for those that didn’t come, as well). There were tarps, and sleeping bags and back packs and blankets and buckets and flashlights. I felt moved and blessed to have been a part of it all.

#1 Christmas Came

In some ways I think I am like the Grinch. I don’t hate Christmas but I hate what it has become… I hate that I am a reluctant participant in the “Christmas Machine”. I try to make it happen in a certain way and I try to manipulate the ones around me into making everything special and memorable. They balk or simply will not comply. There is tension. I want to simplify it but I complicate it by trying to schedule it all. The season is short and if we are going to fit it all in it takes good planning!

This year I just did not do it. I usually feel compelled to create memories and uphold traditions. You’d think that by now I’d realize that traditions are useless if they hold no meaning. You’d think I’d know that memories can only happen naturally. It is moments; unplanned and unanticipated moments, that create memories. This year I didn’t try to remake Christmas into my ideal of what it should be; I just let it happen naturally… and it came.

It came in a simple beautiful, memorable, peaceful way. Like Levi gazing into Santa’s face, I want react to Christmas, the amazing gift of our savior come to us, with pure joy and wonder and love shining out of my heart for all to share.

My mother made this Nativity and gave it to us the year our first child was born...the year we became a family. My dad made the stable and built a little music box within. It plays it Silent Night.

I didn't take the time to get out my many Santas and jingle bells or garland this year, but the Nativity is too great a symbol of Christmas to forget. It was the first thing I put out, the only thing out for the first 2 weeks of Advent.

I think that is appropriate. It kind of gave us a focus away from the sparkle and glitz.

I felt like Jack looking out from a stem of his beanstalk...all up in the air and surrounded by a cloud. I had just awakened and went to the window just like I do most mornings....thanking God for the day ahead and asking his guidance. I love this window view. It's as if I have the most wonderful painting and it is always changing, surprising me with something new or something I had not noticed before.

Today it was the fog. It was a wispy fog, hence the feeling of being in a cloud. I felt light and happy. Here it is just a few days before Christmas and I had hardly given it a thought. I had done just the minimal Christmas gifting and baking and only when "required" for work or for church. I hadn't made a Christmas list or decorated or even put the tree up.

I had been busy with something else that was consuming all my time and thoughts and energy. It was somthing important that needed to be planned and carried out and done right. I was taking care of that stuff and meeting with other people working on that project. Angus was understanding and the boys were tolerant. They knew this was a labor of love for me...not something I had to do but something I wanted to do. But it was wearing me down, I think.

Anyway, last night the event took place and ended in a beautiful worship service. Now I am on to Christmas and I suddenly feel happy and lifted up. It's as if I missed all the Christmas "have to" stuff and found out that, hey, guess what? it's not really "have to" stuff after all. I didn't have to get the house decorated right after Thanksgiving and I didn't have to get the tree up or bake cookies or shop, shop, shop. Christmas is still coming even without that and I feel good about it. This has been the least commercial, least secularish Christmas season.

I think we actually stopped the Christmas machine!

Something about waking up in a cloud made me feel nearer to God and that is how I have felt ever since. I have not explained it very well. I guess, I just didn't let the pressure (mostly self-imposed) that usually goes along with Christmas get to me. I was just too busy to notice that it was approaching, put it at the back of my mind, still participating in what I thought was important and just blowing off the rest of it. Life is good!