I really needed a day like today… a day filled with joy. There was nothing special about the day really, nothing I can put my finger on except in the way I felt, the way I reacted to everyday things all day long. A day filled with joy.

The “why” today was different is harder to identify. I‘m pretty sure it was all in my attitude but why my attitude was better than usual? That I‘m not sure. Was God speaking to me?

I woke before the alarm and got up and soaked in a hot bath. Yes, a slower start to a day than a shower would be but much easier on the nerves, like the difference between waking to an alarm or to the rising sunshine filtering into the bedroom.

I ate an orange while the coffee brewed and then sat down and read the Bible. I usually do some kind of quick morning devotion but today I sat in my favorite chair, with my old, highlighted, scribbled-in, easy-to-read Today’s English Version, Good News Bible. I opened it to the book of Matthew and just started reading, not really to study so much as to enjoy, to experience it, like reading an ancient diary, yet as familiar as the old family photo album. I read ‘til time to head to work.

So, my day started softly and with a Bible in my lap. Is that why my focus was different? Is that why I was more compassionate with the steady stream of boys in trouble? Is that why I was more tolerant of the staff needing help during my lunch time or when I was busy? Is that why I was more generous with my reservoir of kind words? Is that why today it occurred to me that most of the parents that come through our doors are doing the best they can with the skills and experiences that they have and they love their kids as much as I love mine.
The whole day went like that with much laughter and many smiles. A good, God-given gift of a day, filled from dawn to dusk with joy!

I tell myself that I’m not into “having things” and I suppose by American standards it’s true. But by worldwide measurement, I know that I am a glutton for my comforts. I can rationalize all I want to but I am an American… and I am so grateful that I am. I sometimes feel guilty that I have so much… but not quite guilty enough to give much of it up. Last year I had these feelings big time after my return from the Hurricane Relief trip to Gautier, Mississippi… but those feelings of guilt faded over the months.

Two weeks ago my dryer stopped working…one minute it was tumbling and drying and all was well. I took the nice warm clothes out of it and put the cold wet sheets into it and pushed the button and …NOTHING. Just nothing. I called Angus at work and gave him my sad story. We decided it must the motor and discussed how expensive it is to have appliances worked on and how they charge $50 just to come out and look and just how old was that dryer anyway?

Our first dryer came with our first house. It lasted through three moves and thousands of cycles of cloth diapers and sleepers, jeans and sweatshirts and towels. I kept going for some twenty years or so with only a belt replacement. The only criteria I had when we finally had to replace the old dryer was that it have a buzzer on it. We can’t remember how old this buzzered dryer is but we do know it is nowhere near 20 years old….maybe five… or possibly eight.

The next day we went shopping for a replacement dryer. The first thing I noticed was that dryers, though very simple machines, are more expensive that I realized. The second thing I saw was that the warranty on most dryers is only one year!

We wandered around looking at all the fancy features that we didn’t need. We didn’t say much. We both had sticker shock. I’d already had to drape sheets all over the ping-pong table and the furniture in the basement to dry. I had also hung a load of towels out on the line on a nice 20° day. Not fun.

I was thinking that everyone was getting pretty low on clean underwear and we’d have to buy something. Suddenly Angus made a decision, “I think I’ll go home and take another look at that dryer. It might just be the button on the door is bad.”

The parts place gave Angus a couple of ideas and showed him how to look for the problem and tested some parts he brought in. They were so helpful! It turned out to be a fuse. Who knew dryers had fuses?! The cost was $6.00 and a couple of trips into the city and, yes, I had to wash undies and hang them out.

Yesterday I washed several loads of laundry with a new appreciation for the dryer. I take it for granted like I do most other luxuries that we, Americans, consider to be necessities. I think we walk a fine line. We want to help and I think we DO help out a lot. I give what I consider to be a decent amount of my income and time to help out those in need and to serve but I usually stop when it gets uncomfortable. I give right up to the edge of my comfort zone and then I stop.

Here’s what I mean. I give! but not so much that it will mean I’ll have to give up my ski trip. I give! as long as I can still have enough left over to keep my season tickets to the dinner theater. I give! but my friends won’t respect me if I’m not at least fairly fashionable. I give! If I have time, but my time is precious.

You get the idea. I don't feel rich. I think I feel scared. I'm scared if I give away too much I might have to hang out my laundry forever. Wouldn't that be awful?

I’m pretty sure God wants me to give beyond what’s comfortable for me. Why can't I trust that he will take care of my needs? Well, I do believe that... but will he take care of my wants? Don't I deserve a few nice things?

I’m pretty sure there are dividends for sacrificial giving. I’m trying to do better this year, to be better. I am impatient with myself even though I do see change. Do you think God will be satisfied with my baby steps? Does God use broken dryers and dirty laundry to help us regain our perspective? I can do more. I will.

Toby Mac has a new song out called "Made to Love". It is upbeat and catchy, not your typical love song sound but it hits on a simple truth that we don't often think about. We were made to love and be loved by God. That's it. It's so simple. If we could just keep our eyes upon Jesus and remember that we are made to love him then everything else would just fall into place. Afterall, the Great Commandment that Jesus himself gave us tells us to love God with everything we have. If we truly loved God wouldn't we also love our neighbor? We'd have to since that is what would please God. Wouldn't our pain diminish and our selfishness end if all our thoughts were to pleasing God because we just love him so darn much?

Made To Love
Toby Mac/From the album "Portable Sounds"

The dream is fading now I am staring at the door
I know it’s over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain’t feeling what I see
It’s no mystery

What ever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget?

Chorus:
That I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love and be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And You said You’d keep me never would You leave me
I was made to love
And be loved by You

The dreams alive with my eyes open wide
Back in the ring You got me swingin’ for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin’ vapors on my dreams
But I still believe?

I’m reaching’ out, reaching’ up, reaching’ over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And Daddy I’m on my way?

Chorus:
That I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love and be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And You said You’d keep me never would You leave me
I was made to love
And be loved by You

Anything I would give up for You
Everything I give it all away

The snow and cold had kept the schools closed on Valentine’s Day but the Wednesday evening Youth activities went on. There were less kids than usual but still a decent crowd. As the evening was winding down, Ryan excused the guys in the group and asked the girls to stay for a few minutes. They gathered around interested in what he would say. He told them how much God loves them and how valued they are by him. He suggested that teenaged girls take Valentine’s Day too seriously; take boy-girl relationships too seriously and that they need to be careful about that. He explained that boys often aren't ready for that kind of dedication yet.

He told them never to lose their own identity in a relationship. He reminded them not to lose focus on the One that really loves them and will never abandon them. He said a lot more, too, but basically he reminded them that having a boyfriend right now isn’t as important as they might be feeling that it is and not nearly as important as having a relationship with God. It was a beautiful thing that they needed to hear (often). Many girls practically worship a boy when they are going out and that scares the heck out of the boys. Boys just want to have fun.

Beau had a friend-girl that pursued him so long and hard that I referred to her (unkindly) as “the Stalker”. He eventually relented and went out with her although it didn’t last. He was not ready for a serious relationship and enjoys flirting too much. He broke up with her when she asked him what she could do to make herself more like the girls he flirted with, that she would change herself for him. Totally freaked him out! He was 15... he just wanted to hang out.

Anyway, Ryan ended his little session by bringing in a large vase filled with roses. They squealed with delight. He let each girl take a set of 2, one real and one artificial, tied together with a ribbon. He told them that they symbolized, together, the real and true love that God can offer them and also the eternal, unwavering, undying love that he has for them. It was a good message.

I began to wonder if anyone else experienced God moments out of the blue like I do. I found the blog entries below that are beautiful illustrations, I think.

The first from God Still Loves Us Even Without a Lint Roller:

Lil kitty wanted my attention desperately. I didn’t want her to get on me because she would shed hair all over me and I didn’t have anything to clean it off… but she still wanted my attention. She didn’t understand why I didn’t want her to sit with me like she always had.. she’s a cat.. she understands mouse toy and food. But this started to make me think about God and me. I know there have been so many times I have shed my junk on him… but he always welcomes me back. He evens tells me to caste my burdens on him…

God knows we shed a lot… but like the prodigal son He waits for us to come to him as we are. The thing I learned from this little cat was persistence. Jesus taught us to knock and keep on knocking, ask and keep on asking, seek and keep on seeking and we will find what we need, the doors will be opened to us. God likes us to be persistent with him… not arrogant… but lovingly persistent in coming to him with our needs… just how we are. Max Lucado I think said it best when he wrote "God loves us exactly how we are but he is unwilling to leave us there." I’m glad that God is not worried about having a lint roller to show his love to me. He took care of all that already, all he wants from me is persistence in coming to him.

It took a small cat to remind me about pursuing God.

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This one from This is How It Should Be:

i just feel very light and centered. i went for a walk this morning and all of the trees looked so vibrant and the air felt really clean. i've been thinking about these ‘this is God’ moments i've been having a lot -- moments when everything feels aligned -- and i think, ‘yes, this is God.’ for example, the other day i was standing on the corner of burnside in downtown portland, right across from this giant bookstore called Powells. it was a bright, cold saturday morning. i was standing with a group of people waiting for the crosswalk to clear, and i felt this overwhelming sense of connectedness to these strangers. it seemed like we were all smiling, breathing in the sunshine and each other. at that moment, i felt like i had arrived. that this was how life is beyond the pain and frustration of day to day living -- this sort of quiet connectedness.”

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Lovely.

Yesterday I noticed seven God moments. That both pleases me and shames me. My goal is to one day see my whole day filled with them! Finding four God moments was my previous "record" so you see why seven feels good and why I am eager to notice more of them.

My Definition of a God Moment and Why I Want More:

I'll begin by mentioning one of my most amazing God moments. I was driving one night on the hilly road that leads to our home. It's a dark wooded area with no houses, just trees lining both sides of the road. I don't remember what I was thinking about but whatever it vanished the second I topped the hill.

There before me at the top of the next hill was a gigantic full moon right smack in the middle of the horizon. It looked as if the trees had parted for it like the red sea for Moses. The road was leading right to this gorgeous moon and I was driving toward it! It was slightly eery, totally amazing and filled me with wonder at the joy and beauty before me.

I actually stopped the car in the middle of the hill to take it all in. I knew, like all God moments, that it would be fleeting. I drove on home, grabbed my camera and went back but everything had already changed. A cloud had partially overtaken the moon and it was higher in the sky already, not lifting up from the earth itself any longer as it had appeared only minutes earlier. It doesnt really matter because, I still have that picture in my memory. That was a wonderful God moment.

They are all wonderful and usually much more simple. A God moment is a snapshot in time when I notice the presence of God.

I am trying to get closer to God this year. I've been through a small group study called "God is Closer Than You Think" based on the book of the same name by Jonn Ortberg. I've read the book Does God Believe In You? by Keith R. Anderson and it is right at the top of my favorite reading and rereading right along with an old favorite Attitudes of Gratitude by M.J. Ryan. Everything I read and learn and feel tells me that God is right here with us every single minute of life... if only we would notice. If we feel far from God it is not because God has moved away from us. He is calling our names but we aren't listening. We aren't paying attention! I know this is true and I am working on being a better listener.

Recognizing my God moments is part of my exercise to get my heart muscle in the right place to see God's presence everywhere. When I look back on my day I often see that there were many, many times when God was revealing himself but I missed them. ...The hugs from the kids at school, a shared moment with a friend, a compassionate prayer by a Jr. High kid at Bible Study, Beau singing so loud to the radio in his room that it can be heard clear out in the kitchen. I was too caught up in the busyness of my day and my own thoughts to recognize it as a God moment!

So, I'm working on that. I want to recognize God everywhere I look. I know he is there trying to get my attention in his own subtle ways. Will I ever pay attention?
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1 Kings 19:11 &12
Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before GOD. GOD will pass by." A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before GOD, but GOD wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but GOD wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but GOD wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent. When I first began this web log a year and a half ago i was tentative about using the real names of my loved ones. I just wasn't sure how "public" a blog really is and for the safety of my family and just for fun, too, I made up code names for everyone... just in case. (don't ask)

My husband is the 5th child of 6 and by the time his mother named him she had run out of ideas. She tells how she sat in the hospital searching through the pages of the obituaries for names of the deceased and their loved ones left behind. Kind of creepy but ingenious as well and that is where she found his name.

In our own family, finding names for sons number 3 and 4 was about finding a name that sounded okay next to the names of their big brothers and their strong Irish surname. Maybe the native American Indians had it right by choosing a permanent name for their kids when they became "men" and "women".

Anyway, I got to pick new names for one and all and some people have asked about that. So here is my reasoning and how I chose.

the etymology and history of first names was the website I used to help me figure out what I wanted.

Angus ~ Irish, "one strength or force" .. He is the strength behind our family. He keeps us going.
Kevin ~ Old Irish, "Kind, gentle, handsome" ..That says it all about "Kev".
Zeke ~ from Hebrew meaning "God strengthens" ..That is where he gets his strength, the perfect name for him.
Beau ~ "beautiful" ..He is. Loved by all for his contagious joy for life.

So there it is.

The line of cars was several lanes wide and stretched the whole length of the parking lot when we came to pick up our new cabinet. We had just purchased it after months of talk of building one and of half-hearted looking. Finally we made the commitment after my mom threatened to give her china to my neice instead of me.

Our dining room is small and our family is big. WHen the table is stretched out to its full square size and there are people seated there isn't much room left. But I loved those dishes and the memories that would vome with them so we shopped.

After looking locally we finally drove to the far side of the city to the famous Nebraska Furniture Mart, the grandaddy of all furniture stores. We had never been there before and were overwhelmed by the size of the place but there were a lot more options than we had seen anywhere else.

We found the Dining department and were looking them over when Rachel, the saleswoman stopped by to see if she could help us. We hesitantly told her what we were looking for. She convinced us that we would need to order it to get what we needed and helped us through that process. The price was more than 3 times what we had hoped to pay but after all the searching and the mom-threat we went on with it. With order in hand we moved away resigned but not happy trying to convince one another that we were at least done with it all.

We ran into some old friends on our way out and chatted for a half hour or so and then continued through the miles of sofas and lighting and lounge chairs to the escalator. We stepped off the moving stairs into another sea of furniture. Off to our left Angus noticed some curio cabinets and suggested we take a walk through. That's where we found this perfect "book case" that we bought to put our china in. No fancy lighting within to display our china, no glass shelves, just simple and lovely. Perfect for us and within our budget.

After a good lunch at an Irish Pub nearby we drove the 70 miles back home content to have left that place behind us... not knowing when or how we would pick up our new cabinet but happy we had found it.